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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22667080">you're not a part of me i want to remember</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reciprobursts/pseuds/reciprobursts'>reciprobursts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gilear week ! [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dimension 20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Post-Divorce, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:14:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22667080</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reciprobursts/pseuds/reciprobursts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fig was...changing. Gilear doesn't really know how to handle all of this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fig Faeth &amp; Gilear Faeth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gilear week ! [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you're not a part of me i want to remember</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>woooo still goin strong for gilear week! this for day three: father-daughter day</p>
<p>i think fig's relationship with gilear is suuuper important, esp cause of the baggage unloaded in fh live, even when it was like.....brutal in the beginning of the first season</p>
<p>i have a lot of feelings for my sad dad if you couldn't tell</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Fig was...changing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, already changed at this point really. She's not the same girl she was a year ago, and there's only one path it seems like she wants to go on. Of course, she's at the age where most children start to grow up, with voice drops and new interests and the entire concept of rebellion, but Gilear doesn't exactly know how to handle all of this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sandralynn's infidelity and the divorce was one thing, but losing his connection with his daughter was nearly unbearable. He wants to catch up with her somehow, but the gap between them is so large, it's hard to come back into her life as a positive presence. She sees him as a stranger now, a man who means nothing to her, and that's what wrecks Gilear the most.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can't take back what he said after her horns started growing in. <em>"You aren't a Faeth anymore,"</em> rings like a horrible echo in his head, and he can't imagine what Fig has been feeling, if she even thinks of Gilear anymore anyways. It makes him nauseous to even consider that she doesn't. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had witnessed the beginning of her style diverting just as he moved out. Dyed hair, a new bass guitar, sharp, painted nails. Her pink and frilly closet replaced by black and red and chains and ripped pieces of clothing. Leaning into her newly found devil heritage. Gilear doesn't understand it at all, but if it makes Fig feel better, it's the only thing he wants for her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He can come to terms with the creeping feeling of despair, betrayal, and loneliness later. He can wallow in the thought of how he simply was not good enough, of course he wasn't, tomorrow. He can cry and find a new comfort food that doesn't remind him of his ex-wife another day. Fig comes first. Even if she doesn't acknowledge him as a person that has anything to do with her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p><hr/>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gilear feels extremely out of his element as he stands in front of a uniquely decorated shop in the mall. The entryway is designed like a blackened skull, long fangs creating a door, and fake fire shoots through its nostrils every once in a while. (It scares him every time). The name is emblazoned by the side of the skull, in twisted, dark letters that are gnarled and frankly, cursed looking. <em>Scorching Subject</em>. Gilear tries not to let his uncertainty show on his face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tiefling cashier eyes him skeptically from in the store, tail flicking behind them, gaze probably catching on the canned food stain on the chest of his shirt that he'd been too apathetic to care about. Taking a breath, he braces for the cruel scruntity of all the teens there and steps inside.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, Gilear walks out holding a gift bag, thoroughly embarrassed and sweating a little. His hand feels clammy around the stringed handles, both from his experience and the nervous hoping that his daughter will like what he bought for her. As he makes his way out of the mall, a stand catches his eye. A yogurt stand. He pauses his walking. He could go for some right now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p><hr/>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later, a bag appears on the Faeth household's doorstep with Fig's name on it and a little accidental dairy stain on the side. And even if there's no label of who it's from, she knows. And despite everything, she looks inside and lets herself smile, just a little bit.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">(The next time Gilear sees Fig, she doesn't call him dad, but she finally looks at him without disdain in her eyes. She shows up to his apartment wearing the red, distressed, plaid skirt he'd bought her. It's littered with safety pins because it was too big, but she wears it well. She holds out a crumpled paper bag with two sandwiches in it, and he invites her to sit down at the unevenly footed dining table in his messy kitchen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And though the food has Sandralynn's handiwork all over it and Fig is only barely making conversation, he swallows the pain with the ham and lettuce and it's the nicest Gilear's felt in a long, long while.)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if u don't think my head is a constant replay of "you've felt guilt for the quality of my life?" "how could i not, i'm the living embodiment of someone betraying you" then u are Wrong</p></blockquote></div></div>
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